So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
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Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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