why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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