I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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