you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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