giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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