well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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