Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
organizing the empties. That sober.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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