ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
