so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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