I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
