every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize