oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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