My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
