Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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