I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
