Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
