Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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