4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
More tranny stories later!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
