"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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