He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
