we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
