We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
