I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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