i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
