rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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