Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
