Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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