got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize