He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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