remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
