Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
