Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
