How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
