Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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