I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
