just come out here and I will go home with you...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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