i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
