New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
