I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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