I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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