in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
