Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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