Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize