Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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