Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize