Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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