She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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