Just fell off a train. Bad.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
