I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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