Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
