How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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