yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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