So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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