you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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