Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
