we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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