You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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