so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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