all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Are we still banned from the library?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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