Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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